We have probably all had a bridezilla experience in our lives, whether it was a friend, coworker, family member, or even you (gasp). Or at the very least, you’ve watched Bridezillas on TV. While you may not be able to change the bridezilla in your life into a nice and peaceful bride-to-be, here are some tips on how to deal with her.

1. Consider what she may be going through.

Weddings can be a stressful time, especially if the bride-to-be works a crazy job, has family drama, has friend drama, and/or possibly thinks she’s making a mistake getting married ( which, if you think she is, you better say something). Try to be compassionate and consider these complex situations before calling her a you-know-what. If she does have a stressful job or just a lot on her plate, offer to help her out! Even the smallest things like calling the florist to confirm something or even researching venues can be a big help! If family or friend dynamics are the issue, just offer to listen. The bride-to-be may just be bottling up her emotions and projecting her rage/annoyance/sadness onto you without the intention of hurting your feelings.

2. Are you the problem?

WOAHHH. Yeah I just went there. Maybe the bridezilla wouldn’t be a bridezilla if you weren’t causing her stress. While she probably COULD react better (depending on what is going on), you may want to sit back and reflect a little. Are you making a scene because you don’t want to wear a blush dress as a bridesmaid for the eighteenth time in a row? Are you not coming to any of the bridal events because you’re doing other (not important) things instead? Are you critiquing all of the bride’s choices? Guess what! You can do whatever you want on your big day. And if yours already passed, maybe offer constructive advice based on things you learned, but don’t be pushy about it and don’t offer your opinion if your bride is the kind who doesn’t want to hear it.

3. She’s WAY too particular.

If the bride-to-be is a perfectionist, she may spaz every time something doesn’t go to plan. If you are the cause of things not going to plan (hey crap happens), sincerely apologize and offer to make it right if possible. And while I don’t recommend causing drama, if you are being verbally berated or feel disrespected and don’t receive an apology and changed behavior, I give you full permission to peace out of the bridal party.

*If I ever exhibit this behavior, I give my mother/fiancé/bridesmaids permission to give me a booty slap back into reality.

4. Perform what my dad calls “a state change.”

Bride freaking out? Just say something ridiculous like: George Washington’s pantyhose. Watch in amazement as the bride stops talking and completely forgets what she was talking about.

5 Just breathe and remember, it will end eventually.

In the worst case scenario, create a fun calendar. Strike off every day that passes leading up to the wedding. Reward yourself when you hit a milestone. Here are some examples:

Event: Survived dress shopping while being honest, but not upsetting the bride.

Reward: Glass of champagne.

Event: Got fitted for the world’s most unflattering bridesmaid dress. Successfully acted like it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and that you feel so unworthy of wearing it because how could one ever be beautiful enough to wear such an artfully made frock.

Reward: Buy yourself something you actually like…

Event: Pulls off bridal shower with alpacas that you sourced from a land far away because if you didn’t, you may not be alive.

Reward: Celebrate the many years you have ahead. Throw yourself a random birthday party.

Event: Used way too many vacation days for bride’s bachelorette party in Cabo that you can’t afford anyway. Pretended to not contract stomach problems from accidentally swallowing some tap water while brushing your teeth. Somehow managed to pull through while also eating copious amounts of guac.

Reward: Take a personal day. Never eat guac again. Switch to the red pepper hummus you were eyeing but don’t get it from Whole Foods because you went into debt from the bachelorette party and can’t afford it.

Event: Make it through the wedding without messing something up.

Reward: Never having to go through this again until one of your other friends gets married. Enjoy the peace….While it lasts….